You've Got To Be Kidding Me
by Celeste's Baggage
Summary: Wow, from 1K to 2K words exactly. This story takes place a few years after Gale & Sa-chan's story. Violet is about to learn that sometimes, adults can be just as silly as children. If only they could set better examples for their kids. Based on "Children's Arguments" scenes. I guess it's a PSA as well, but it mostly pokes fun at the characters. Hints of canon pairings.


**Since I'd previously made a story about a little kid, I figured that I'd make a story FOR little kids. This is a short story for Harvest Moon: Animal Parade inspired by the "Children's Arguments" scenes. It takes place well after my current HM story; Violet is nine and Sara is about five.**

* * *

A little girl sprinted into her room crying. Her face was red and she was emitting a hoarse cough through her sniffles and tears. She couldn't help it; these fits always accompanied her sobs when she got flustered. She had always been teased about how easily upset she was. _Sissy Steiner._ That's what all the kids called her.

She hated them all for making fun of her in school. Well, it was usually Lucy and Roy who teased; everyone else just laughed along. Those two would flip up her skirts, spank her, pull her hair, call her a tramp. She was only nine; she had never even had a crush on any boys yet, let alone 'do the deed' what ever that was. And the worst part is that neither Van nor Matt nor her own sister Sara defended her.

She spotted the scissors on her desk. She could cut her hair and clothes, show them what a _real_ tramp looked like. Better yet, cut a hole in the back of Roy's pants. Or maybe hack off a lock of Lucy's violet mane. No, then there'd be three foolish-looking children running about the school. What was she to do?

Her father knocked on the door. "Not right now, Padre," she answered. "I'm too busy moping."

He opened the door anyway. "Moping, you say?" He sat next to her on the bed she groaned and turned over. "Now why is my little Bellini moping when she be so much prettier smiling?"

"Because my classmates are...you know." Pause. "I can't say it because it has a bad word in it. Then you'll yell and I'll be even more upset."

He sighed. "If you feel you really must say it, I can let it slide just this once." What could she possibly say that was so bad, anyway?

"They're jerks!" she shouted. Okay, _still_ not as bad as he thought. "Two of them bully me and half of the class laughs. The rest are what Tio Vaughn calls 'enablers'. They don't join in but don't try and help either. The teacher is _right there _and _he_ doesn't help! What a joke!"

That really is a problem, he thinks. He got a good idea just then. He stood up, pretending to be mad. "I oughta' give them a piece of my mind. They have no right messing with my little girl. I'll be right back. There's a snack for you on the kitchen table." He put on his coat and headed out the door.

"Take care of yourself," she shouted after him, not really knowing what else to say.

* * *

The Brass Bar was having quite a busy day today. Kathy was busy taking orders from everyone, including Owen and Luke-respectively Roy and Lucy's dads. Luke's wife, Selena was entertaining the crowd with her dancing. Skye strode in and put a hand on the men's table. "Owen, Luke, we need to talk."

Luke leaned in toward him. "Well it's a good thing we're only going for our second round. What's on your mind?"

"I hear from Violet that a couple of kids have been giving her trouble in school."

"That's it?" Owen laughed. "If you need some counselors there..." Skye gave him an unamused look. "Oh man, you mean my little man Roy, don't you?"

Kathy looked back at the trio from the table she was clearing. "Do you mean to tell me that our son is harassing little girls again?" Skye blinked. "Roy used to always tease Lucy about her clothes and tomboyish attitude."

Luke sighed. "As far as I knew, she hated him and wanted to slam his face into a pile of mud. Why would they be getting along now?"

"It's simple," Hayden, the bartender, answered. "A kid doesn't like to be made fun of. If you were a little boy and another kid was making fun of you a lot, you'd feel uncomfortable. However, when they leave you alone, things seem overall better."

Luke cocked his head. "Say what?"

"I think I get it," Skye offered. "Look at it this way; pretend you, me and Kathy were kids. Every day, I push you around and call you a dummy and shorty." Luke blanched; that's what _he'd_ done to _him_ as a kid. "Then one day I go up to you and say 'hey, I'll cut you a deal. If you help me make fun of Kathy's dorky clothes, I'll leave you alone.' Most likely you'd go for it, right?"

Kathy sneered. "What did you say about my clothes?"

"See? _Kathy's_ all offended now, but I'm out of _your_ hair and you relieve some stress. It's a kind of peer pressure."

Selena hopped off of the stage. "What about a pier now?"

"Roy and Lucy have been mean to Violet lately."

"Well, that's not good. Why didn't Mr. Gill tell me about this? I _am _Lucy's mother."

"Maybe Violet didn't tell Mr. Gill about it. She _is_ pretty shy, you know."

"Meaning?" Skye raised his eyebrows.

"Well, weren't you kind of afraid to tell the teacher when you were bullied?"

"Yeah! Because the first time I did, you lied right to the teacher's face and then whacked me upside the head!"

Owen held up his hands. "Hey, hey, I'm sorry. But maybe Violet thought Roy would do the same thing."

"But she's a girl," Selena laughed, "Roy would never do such a thing." Pause. "Oh wait. I guess if that were the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation. My bad."

"Well, guy or girl, nobody needs to be bullied." Skye cracked his neck and knuckles. "What do you say we do a little mediating.

"Speaking of which," Kathy murmured as she grasped his shoulders, "don't you yourself owe somebody an apology?"

"To whom?" Kathy growled and whacked him upside the head. "Ow-a! What was that for?"

"You made fun of my clothes. I worked hard to pick this outfit out."

"Now, honey-" Owen tried to comfort her

"Shut it! I'm tired of him teasing me about my clothes."

Skye groaned. "Oh, please spare me the histrionics. I've only teased you once or twice prior to now. Even now, I was only trying to convey a likely scenario."

"Please just apologize Skye." Luke hid behind his chair. "This is the kind of thing we want to avoid with the kids, remember?"

"Yes, we came to make peace," Selena cut between the two of them. "So let us not get into any altercations now, okay?"

Kathy sighed. "Fine." Skye slumped in relief. "Just as soon as the tease over here apologizes."

"I'm sorry," he said immediately, "but was the name calling necessary?"

"You started it," Kathy whined. The remaining trio groaned. _It was like _they_ were kids again._

"Kath-" Skye turned to Hayden. "Dad, please tell Kathy to stop being a grump!"

"A grump?! Alright, that's it, ya little turd. You're going down!"

* * *

Violet was getting tired of waiting for dinner. She'd eaten her snack and ransacked the fridge for the remaining carrots (even though she hated carrots, like her uncle). Her dad had likely forgotten that she was home and got caught up flirting with a pretty lady-or worse yet, her mom! Man, if she found him out without her, he was toast. Dolt or not, he was Violet's breadwinner and could not get into that kind of trouble

She ran to the coatrack in the hall, nearly coasting across the floor in her socks. She yanked her jacket off of the rack and threw it over her shoulders. After a little bit of reflection, she began to feel a superhero, one of the Avengers. She let her imagination loose and began running around the house.

She slid to a halt once again. "Oh, yeah; I have to save somebody first!" She picked up her Flashy Feet sneakers and Velcro-d them sloppily. "Now to find that gentleman. Duhn-duh-duh-_dahhh!_ Bell-Man to the rescue-"

"Aowww!" She snapped out of her daydream to find Lucy at her door holding her forehead.

She pushed the door shut behind her. Embarrassed, she could only manage to say, "Um...oops?"

"'Oops'? Is that all you have to say?!" She let go of her forehead and clenched her fists. Violet could barely contain her laughter for what she saw next. "That hurt ya know! Maybe if you weren't stuck in your sissy daydreams, you would be able to see ahead of you!"

Violet was still fighting back laughter "Well, if you...you were pay-paying att..." she broke down into a giggle-fit right on her doorstep.

"What's so funny, sissy?" Violet couldn't answer, of course. So she huffily felt for her compact mirror. And there it was-the door slamming in her face left the imprint of the house number-8008-on her forehead. She stood there silently for a moment, contemplating the situation.

"I'm...I'm sorry-hee-hee. It just looks so...I mean your"

"I know. I _am_ such a boob aren't I?" Lucy closed her compact and sighed. Violet's laughter died down until she could see Lucy staring back. "Listen, Vi, I'm sorry for teasing you like that. I just got a little jealous of you being so smart. I don't get it."

"Well, if you really want to be smarter, you can start by paying attention in class instead of making origami out of your homework.

"Hmm...I was wondering why my cranes had gibberish written all over them."

"But don't you normally use math papers? How do you get gibberish from...?"

Lucy pointed to her head. They both lost it.

Five whole minutes it took for them to calm down. It was then that they heard a weird siren-like noise coming up the hill. "...eeeeeee_eeeeeeeEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!" _Violet's little sister Sara was running across the yard screaming, followed by three angry paint-splotched sheep and her mother Celeste.

"Mom?!" Violet stood and gawked at them.

Celeste slowed down, panting so hard that they could barely hear her say hello. She looked at them at last and pointed to her forehead. "Ya gotta little-"

"Yeah, I know. Sara been harassing the sheep again?" Celeste wheezed and nodded. "I figured."

The sheep had pinned Sara down and began tugging her hair and overalls. "Mamma," she whined, "_Aiutami!_"

"Hang on, bubby!" She limped over to the sheep and yanked Sara out. The poor little tyke had a hole in her overalls that revealed her entire butt. "Oh yeah. You and Roy have to come over my house tonight."

"Aw, why do we gotta hang with that stink-brain?"

"Babbo was bad," Sara chirped. "Bad, _bad_ Babbo!" [NOTE: Babbo=Italian for 'DaDa']

Celeste smirked at them. "Yes, he and your aunt Kathy a little time-out with the Mayor." i.e.: 'They're in jail.'

Lucy squinted at her. "Why?"

"For beating each-other up. They're not coming out until they make nice."

_"Ooooooooooooh!"_ The girls snickered.

Violet tugged on Lucy's sleeve. "Hmn?"

"Let's promise that we will try and make nice with eachother."

"Yeah, I don't wanna be a jailbird. Those big jumpsuits are _so_ not cool!"

"I'll say," Sara wiggled her butt in the girls' direction. "They probably not sheep-poof!"


End file.
